Tick Tock BOOM.

I feel the urge to explode, to burst out this feeling inside of me. The anger, the sadness, the stress, the unsatisfiedness and everything else that's bothering me.

I have many things to say, many things that I want to do but can't, and many other things that I wish could solve on its own.

I don't think the people around me completely understands me. Goodnight.

Wake up.

If I could slap you and make you realise about what you're doing, I might.

Wake up!

Is this what I want?

It's March. Just finished the third semester. Now, after this semester, it has got me to really think about what I want to do, what I want to achieve. It is true, that if I die now, it wouldn't make a difference. I have not done anything to make my life worth living. If I tell this to others, they say I'm still young but heck no, I think I'm too old!

I really need to focus on what I want to achieve, which is to make a difference, a change to the world. Of course that is impossible, but if I could change the people around me in a bigger scale, that would make me smile on my deathbed. I am really thinking about why I've decided to joined the Performing Arts and slowly realising the power of theatre.

However, there's also the fear that I won't achieve my dreams. I have too many what if questions in my life. What if, I think big but never achieve any of it? How should I start? What can I do?

I need to put aside the little things that is and will bother me. I need to focus on achieving what I want first.

Dot dot dot.

"I'll keep running till you tell me to stop and make a U-turn."

Just felt like it.

I just feel like writing something now but I don't know how to write about it.

It's complicated. Much more complicated than the previous ones. No wait, it isn't. It's easy but made complicated because of the surrounding.

It would be nice to believe your words but I know if I do, there will be consequences and I have a feeling it won't be very nice. Now, I feel it's quite hard to trust your words. Don't say it if you don't mean it.

and then, there's another person. Sigh.

I might wait, but I think I've lost in it.

Forget, Ignore or Follow?

I don't know what to say about what I'm feeling right now. I only have 3 choices, forget, ignore or follow. I shouldn't be thinking about it but I can't help it. Will it be like how it must be like the first time? I can't say it's unfair to me because then it'll be unfair to them too. I must think of them, of us.

Go away, feelings. Go.

Still the same way.

I am still speechless since that day. I noticed that I'm being more emo and I dont even know why. I wish I understood what I'm feeling.

sigh,
sigh,
and
Sigh.