I don't like this.

I hate this feeling. Wanting to die so badly. I do not think it's appropriate to think about death this much at this age.

I have been crying for two nights in a row. I do not wish for a third night.
The eyes are swollen and dry, the heart just keeps aching.

Sometimes I wished I didn't exist, it probably have made a few lives better.

At this point, I do not want to be a director. I really don't. I dread it, I take no pride in it. I am embarassed to label myself as one.

and what's life without money issues? There's always one.

Death seems like a fast escape, a torture and punishment. I wonder what happens if I am having it now.